More valuable than a precious, pumping fart.
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> April 2005 > May 2005 > June 2005 > July 2005 > August 2005 > September 2005 > October 2005 > November 2005 > December 2005 > January 2006 > March 2006 Previous Posts> Burns so good 111105> The Wench and the Drunk 081105 > Must..stop..thinking..about..sex 031105 > Twenty things you probably don't know about me 31... > What. The. Fuck. 261005 > DSOC 211005 > Things I do, just because 201005 > Decade 171005 > Team Awesome - Part 2 141005 > Meme tide you over 131005
AdageAll that rot
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Odds and ends 121105I hate that new heartworm ad on the telly. It's telling you to get your dog vaccinated against heartworm, which is fair enough. What isn't fair enough is the ad itself: A brother and sister are sitting in front of the TV with gigantic smiles on their faces, watching an old video of them playing with their dog, Buster, laughing and having a gay old time. Then it shows the children WATCHING THEMSELVES ON THE TV LAYING FLOWERS ON THE DAMN DOG'S GRAVE BECAUSE IT HAD BEEN EATEN INSIDE-OUT BY HEARTWORM. Then it cuts back to the kids, looking absolutely horrified. Then the girl asks to see Buster again. I can't help but be mortified, but at the same time I secretly wonder if the girl is in shock or just plain stupid for seeing herself at her former dog's grave then asking straight after to see him again. Whatever, WHAT THE HELL?!
Please don't write a post where 'my' is replaced by 'ma' to be l33t and expect me to comment. Fuck off. If I had one, I'd give my left nut to waste a day fishing and/or playing golf. The weather has been divine lately, save for the horrendous five-minute thunderstorms. I am getting better with my cooking skillz. I cooked honey garlic soy lamb chops with garlic butter beans with asparagus and leek this evening without burning anything. ROCK. I'm not looking forward to Christmas shopping. I hate crowds, I hate shopping, I hate buying gifts for people when they don't specify exactly what they want. Christ, I'm not a fucking mind-reader. I'm getting clumsier and clumsier as the days go by. Making lunch this arvo, I sliced my index finger open with a knife. I didn't realise I'd cut myself until I bent my finger, which sent blood flying everywhere. A little later on, I went to get a Panadol, and doonked my forehead on the corner of the cabinet door. I didn't even think I was tall enough to reach, huh. The insomnia is back. No good. While I don't think I've been overly stressed lately, I'm losing hair like crazy. It can happen with a diet change or a general change of pace, so maybe that's it. It could be syphillis. Yeah, probably syphillis. Or gonorrhoea. If you're going to be in Sydney on Friday, December 2, come on out to Nailpolishblues' post-bird-day drinks. Please check her open invite post for attendees. It'll most likely be at The Duke, and while I've not had the pleasure of drinking at The Duke before, my pre-requisites for a good time are simple: bourbon and a video jukebox. Failing the presence of one video jukebox, I'll just drink with a surly look on my face. Surly. For the second year in a row, I have been found in a Google search for 'Melbourne Cup G-String Upshots/Upskirts.' Fucking quit it, it's making me nervous in the back part of my non-G-string knickers. I think my left eye's losing more sight. Maybe I should go to the optometrist again. Maybe I need to clean my glasses a little more thoroughly. Or MAYBE I should get an eye patch. That'd be hot. = BourbonBird is broken. |