More valuable than a precious, pumping fart.
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AdageAll that rot
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embarrassmo!Okay, so I've made it quite clear that I love watching people hurt themselves because of their own stupidity, so I will put a few embarrassing things I've done on here. I've done way more embarrassing things, but they'll stay out of this one because I remember these ones fondly, kindasorta.
Unless stated otherwise, these happened before I left home at 16. Some epics have been excluded purposefully, including the incident in grade 7 with the cookies. Tina, I know you know. Pretend you don't. Just shush and stay beautiful forever. (In no particular order) - Every home video after two minutes. If anybody ever got a hold of my old home movies, you would most likely see me dancing in my togs, hightops, scrunch socks, and doing the running man to Peter Andre's 'Gimme Some Kind of Sign' or 'Mysterious Girl.' - Grade 5: Trying out for the Goodna girl's soccer team, was up against the biggest she-bully in the world, Renee, I think? She booted the ball square into my face, knocked me out cold. I was given the opportunity to try again, I didn't. Took it back up in highschool, where nobody knew of my face being smooshed. - Highschool at some point: Was at my grandparents' place for a family barbeque, and had just finished a delicious kebab (the ones on the skewers). It was POURING in the rain, and I spotted a magpie. Decided the best course of action would be to chase it, waving the skewer around, threateningly. Fell arse-over-tit, scraping my left elbow, filling the flesh with gravel and allsorts. Didn't get the magpie, but the skewer was still intact. - Highschool at some point, in my much hyped 'black' phase - TINA, SHUT UP: Hopping on the train with the boys, I was one of the last to hop on (WTF, you degenerate motherfuckers from Marist Brothers?!). It was a backpack, and I had it hooked over both shoulders. Got stuck in the door, my arms and legs flailing like death. Nobody helped, I wanted to die. - The year I choreographed the 'Macarena' in our primary school end-of-year concert. Tina, shut up. - Highschool at some point: Nursing an infected beesting on the back of my right thigh, Jess thought it'd be funny to stand on the bandage that had come loose. Fell flat on my face in school-hometime traffic. - Highschool at some point: The time I went to the pools with Michelle, aka 'Moonface.' Never confident in my swimming ability, she talked me into the deep end. Promptly cramped in both legs and sank in a pained squat. I SHAT MYSELF, THINKING I WAS GOING TO DIE. Michelle saved me, we never spoke of it ever again. - Philippines, before I turned 4: Having dinner at Jollibee (fast food chain), I ran to dad, who was waiting to order. It wasn't dad. I touched a stranger's arse, tugging at his pocket in a little bastard way that only little bastards know how. I turned around and screamed for dad. He was right behind non-dad. - Grade 2: Keith and Josh decided it'd be funny to pull their pants down and dance on their tables while the teacher was out. Everyone laughed, but I had to go further, saying that they 'looked like elephants.' Teacher walked in, all three of us were sent to the Principal's Office. - Grade 8: Asked Manuel to go out with me. He laughed in my face and said no. - Dan G. Tina, you can't laugh. You dated him, too, you foetus. - My first real 'pash', school dance in grade 8, still in 'black' phase: Bang Bui. He kissed like a wet flappy vagina all over my face, even my nose. His name was BANG BUI. BANG. BUI. WHAT IN THE BLOODY HELL WAS I ON?! Any embarrassing moments here, readers? *Update: Anna is the newest addition to the BourbonBird blogroll, and Eka's blog address has been amended accordingly. Anna, I'm still trying to figure out the navigation of your blog, I will make my mark soon, heh. 8ZERO8, Ben, Mr Righty, Clare, Steve, Mish, and generally anyone who uses Blogger -- having serious trouble accessing your blogs. I've been told by Shanns that she can't get to my blog, either. Huh? Notes: Charlotte from biochem rocks my socks off. Thanks for the lift home, you dyslexic fuck. At least you've got looks. And Ben Lee would look just like Tina if he was Asian, female, and more foetus-like. In a hot way. |