It's been emotionally and physically taxing to 'entertain' my MIL, having to decipher sighs and mewls when I ask her how work is going, or if I ask about her sister, who is losing the battle with breast cancer. If I mention something funny M and I may have spoken about on the phone, she'll sigh some more, saying that she doesn't understand, that she's afraid I will run away with Charlotte to some faraway land (read - Brisbane), or that she's afraid that I don't want her to know or see her grandchild... add to all of that the oft-peppered phrase, 'You know I don't want to interfere / I'm not interfering, am I? / I don't want to interfere / I'm not trying to interfere,' and you have BourbonBird feeling a little something like this:
I have a face very similar to that -- whether I internalise it or not remains to be seen, since it only happens when the MIL is around and she never really looks directly at me, anyway.
I was starting to lock up the house and shut windows, when a most wonderful thing happened. The MIL decided to take Charli out and HOME to HER place, with Charli coming back here three hours later with M, since he wanted to spend some time with her. It was like the sky itself had opened up and God shimmied down to give me a gold turd just because I was nice.
I couldn't have said goodbye fast enough.
Don't get me wrong, you all know I love my girl, but the single mother thing is 24/7, and everything I do revolves around the Mung Bean. It was the first time since I moved out and split up with M that I had the unit all to myself with nowhere to be or nothing to do, and it was heavenly.
What did I do? Cranked up the tuneage. Had a smoke. Made a coffee. Cleaned with FURY.
My God, I was like a hurricane of superfurious disinfectant domestic happyanger with out-of-tune singing, the occasional kick, and knee-down-punch-to-the-ground-but-not-really-punching-the-ground-because-that'd-be-fucking-stupid to end a cockrock powerballad.
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After all the cleaning was done, I rang my best friend, Tina. We have been trying to acquire a copy of a highschool English assessment we did with four other people. It was a video we made - I'm not sure what the assessment WAS, exactly, but I do remember that we sucked so awesomely. The significance of this video is so huge to me, it's not even funny. I was well in the thick of things going sour at home, I was being hit by my mother nearly every day, and this was one of the very few instances my mother let me go out to see my friends. This was easily the happiest time of my highschool life.
Characters:
MacGyver - Leanne - Good guy.
David Hasselhoff - Sarah - Supervillain.
Bisexuale - Tina - David Hasselhoff's evil henchman, with a penchant for Melissa Etheridge, in lust with EVERYBODY.
Candi - BourbonBird - Babe to be saved.
Chief - Jess - Good guy.
Storyline:
Candi, MacGyver's girlfriend, gets kidnapped by David Hasselhoff. MacGyver has to perform sexual favours for David Hasselhoff to get Candi back, or else David Hasselhoff blows up the city. MacGyver has to thwart David's evil plan, as well as get the girl.
Notables:
David Hasselhoff - 'You will perform sexual favours for meeeeeeeeeee, or else, I will blow up the cityyyyyyyyyy. By five.'
Tying Leanne up to a chair rope and duct tape. We duct taped her GOOD, including her socks and glasses.
Sarah setting the egg-carton-city replica alight WAYYY before schedule, running out to videotape fire, leaving Leanne to scream for help. End result on videotape - half melted eggcarton, dogs tiptoeing around replica, replica flying across the backyard because someone turned on the hose a little too hard, Leanne screaming, 'GUYS! COME ON! I'M STILL TIED UP! I WANNA SEE!'
Tina coming on to EVERYTHING.
Sarah picking me up for the kidnapping scene. She was meant to grab me while I checked the letterbox, then run down the street a couple houses. She ended up running with me on her shoulder all the way down the street. It was so violent, my head was banging on her arse.
Making Batman-esque 'Wham!' 'Bap!' 'Kapow!' signs for the fight scene.
Videotaping a car driving by, then hearing, 'Did you get it? Cool. Oh fuck, he's turning around! Run!'
Sarah posing on various rocks around her house, rolling down a hill.
Laughing until my sides hurt. To top that all off, I think we all got a B+. A for effort! Or, uh, B+!
Walking to the cornerstore to buy fish and chips for lunch.
Man, I miss those birds. These women are a fucking RIOT. They saved my sanity and fed my soul during one of the darkest years of my life.
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My biggest concerns are getting there and/or looking like an arse who knows nothing about everything. Oi, I've not gone out in ages, I'm bound to overthink this and I probably won't end up going. But I want to go! But I can't! But I want to! But I can't! *hyperventilates*
[edit]I can't go, I'm working that night and the morning after. Fuck.
**one of the most awesome things in this world TO DATE - sarah had a whippet puppy named Devo. geddit?!
