No? Huh.
That's probably because she was an annoying little bloodnut bastard fucker of a kid whose wails crawled so far into my ear canal, she spooned my psyche and chewed away at it for two whole weeks to the point where jamming a pen into my ear seemed like such a ludicrous idea, that going the icepick would've been best for all concerned.
My stomach churned when she did a cover of 'Dancing in the Street' - she was definitely no Bowie or Jagger, and the dancing made me want to eat an industrial-sized jar of vaseline in the hopes that it would ooze out of my eyes, blurring the television screen that I couldn't tear myself away from.
I laughed my arse off when I heard about her 'controversial' elimination and dummy-spit from 'Dancing with the Stars,' that her routine was more about the 'razzle dazzle' than actual talent.
THANK YOU, I COULD'VE TOLD YOU THAT YEARS AGO. fuckers.
And now, LO! Nikki Webster is NEARLY the big 1-8! She's KINDASORTA LEGAL! FHM are on the scene!
From SMH -
Nikki Webster. Semi-nude. Does that sound wrong? Men's mag FHM doesn't think so, having commissioned a series of racy pics of the young entertainer for an upcoming issue. An FHM spokeswoman refused to reveal what Ms Webster was doing or wearing in the shoot, but admitted it was "quite controversial". While most of us remember Webster as the young slip of a thing who sang at the opening ceremony of the 2000 Olympics, she is now trying to project a more grown-up image. "Nikki is moving away from being a child," says her manager, Jason Williamson. "It's a great shoot, it shows her as an 18-year-old." Which, strictly speaking, she's not - Webster is two months shy of her 18th birthday. That, apparently, makes her the perfect age for an FHM debut. "We prefer girls at 18 but the cut-off is 16," said a spokeswoman for the titillating rag. "We did shoot Holly Valance when she was 16."GREAT! Let's ogle her nubile body, one she hasn't even really grown into! Let's drool at the hint of airbrushed nip, and that arse so small and lego-like that they had to airbrush FILLER into the cover.
Okay, I don't know that last bit for sure, but she could definitely use a bit of padding. Maybe some spack. I heart spack.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE FHM most of the time. It is one of the funniest men's magazines around -- IMHO, it's one of the best mags around, period. But this is poor form, FHM. I don't mind raunchy spreads of 18 year old women, FHM has been pretty good in the past, keeping things tasteful.
But all of those women looked OF AGE. Nikki Webster clearly DOESN'T.
Checkit:
I have purposefully put these pictures together so you all feel like dirty rotten perverts. Heh.
Taken from themusic -
Is the attempt by Nikki Webster's people to sex up the 17 year old ginger moppet succeeding? First, her appearance on Dancing With The Stars; then, planted rumours of sleep-overs with her dance partner; and now, confirmation she's posed for a shoot for men's mag FHM. All this bombardment appears to have bamboozled some in the entertainment journalism business, with attitudes towards the previously-hated Webster becoming noticeably nicer. An explanation? According to one newspaper hack: "I have been smoking crack, sorry."Honestly, I enjoyed the tapdogs/corrugated iron much more than anything Nikki ever gave me.
