This, people, is a little of what goes on in my brain, given half the chance.

CANNIBAL EATS FRIEND'S BRAINS, WITH BUTTER. [link]

I don't do horror movies. My parents, the sick fucks that they are, left me to sleep in the dark, on the lounge, ALONE, on FOUR separate occasions as a young child. Two movies I woke up to that STILL haunt me in various ways are Stephen King's "IT," and that stupid movie, "Child's Play." I seriously react violently to being cornered by HYPOTHETICALS of being cornered by clowns and/or dolls. And I take stupid precautionary methods in everyday life to avoid ever being confronted by a clown and/or living death-doll.

The other two that didn't plague me so much were Nightmare on Elm Street, and Silence of the Lambs. For some bizarre reason, I fucking LOVE Silence of the Lambs. Maybe it was because Hannibal Lecter only ate bastards who sucked at life and didn't bother to say 'please' or 'thank you.' Honestly, that should be compulsory viewing for the public primary-education curriculum. Little shits.

Anyways, when I discuss my fears with people, more often than not, I get a scoff when I mention that I am terrified of cannibals. Understood, it's highly unlikely I would ever be in a situation where I'm in the same room as a cannibal, so I let the banter slide. I'm scared of cannibals, you're not. Fan-fucking-great. We'll see who's laughing when the world's ending and you're stuck on some crag with a hungry cannibal.

Things that bother me: What does a cannibal look like? Are there particular mannerisms that could be picked by the general public? Evidence? No, of course not, because the fuckers ATE IT ALL!

Call me narrow-minded, but the whole human-eat-human thing doesn't really seem normal. I don't care what anybody has to say, there's probably a kajillionty billion of them out there and we don't know who they are. I don't care if it's a survivalist tactic (go kill a fucking rabbit) or a crime of passion ('oh, he cheated on me, i'm going to eat his penis'). That shit is FUCKED UP.

Think about it. Natch, it's so taboo that if you had cannibalistic tendencies, you obviously couldn't tell any Joe down at the pub, so there's no point of reference as to what's 'okay.' Not that any of it is 'okay,' victim permission or not -- if you say you want to be eaten and digested, then you're pretty fucked up, too, IMHO.

So there's this fantasy that's left in your brain to manifest into this... bleh. Then you find somebody. You kill them. You cut them up. You cook them. You eat them. You store the rest for later. It's meticulous, cunning, and these evil, evil people have to be of sound mind to do all of that. To know what they're doing from 'go' to 'whoa.'

What bothers me most about this article is that he ate his FRIEND. His very own friend. The psychological jerking around you'd have to do to justify that as a rational action in your head is WAY beyond my scope.

Oof!

URGH! JEEBUS! What in the bloody hell?! I am so freaked out right now, it's not even funny. God, I hate cannibals! Arg.

I told you I wasn't crazy. They're out there.

Now that you're all done laughing at me, I'd like to make a formal statement. As a reasonably sane person, I, bourbonbird, don't REALLY want a belt fashioned out of human nipples, a la Ed Gein. I just find the mental image of the end product overly humorous. Imagine wearing it in winter. Or in the water. Heh.