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The Return of Kojak 211105I had stress-induced Alopecia Areata as a teenager. Non-contagious, non-painful, non-genetic, this autoimmune disease is easily treatable. Having said that though, it can easily be emotionally crippling, especially if you're surrounded by ignorant cunts who think everything clinical-sounding is contagious and terminal.
I shed a lot of hair when I stress, and I mentioned in an earlier post that I've been shedding again. The hair on the left side of my forehead has started to thin out a bit, so I've just quit tying my hair up altogether when I head out. I've always had trouble growing my hair in the first place. At the moment, it's a third down my back at its longest point, but it's taken me about year to grow it that long from shoulder-length. The first time I lost my hair was when I was about 14-15yo. I was on the sofa brushing my hair when I felt a bald patch on the right side of my scalp just above the nape of the neck where my hair was normally quite thick. Naturally, I freaked out. I wore a bandanna to school once and was told to remove it as it wasn't part of the school uniform, though both my mother and specialist had signed a form saying that it would probably help me adjust with the Alopecia. I wore my school hat inside a classroom and was forced quite publicly to remove it, explain why I had it on, then show the teacher. The specialist I started seeing had initially given me some topical cream (mmmm, ointment) to put on the patch. It didn't work. Not only was there no hair growing back, but I was developing more patches, to the extent where I couldn't tie my hair up in any way without a bald patch showing through. When my hair was down, you could still see where the hair thinned out. For the time being, I was not-so-lovingly referred to as 'Leukaemia' and 'Kojak' by other school students. It made me feel like shit. For my semi-formal, I wore a beanie to cover my patches. It was well in the thick of summertime, and everybody wanted photos beforehand when we gathered at my best friend Tina's place. We were huddled and waiting for the flash when Sarah Bailey pulled my beanie off. I ran off crying, totally hysterical. That fucking bitch, she'd better be careful if she runs into me again. One day she might find her kneecaps shattered. Cunt. The specialist recommended cortisone shots in the arms each week. A couple of the smaller patches started growing back downy, snow-white hair, but the first and biggest patch was only getting bigger and shinier. So when a 'sufficient' amount of white fuzz grew back for me to 'be a normal teenager again', I thought that was it -- there was nothing I could do to salvage that one patch and just come to terms with the fact that it will eventually consume me whole. Instead, he suggested a much more aggressive form of treatment for the offending patch, and to supplement the smaller patches. I was to receive dozens of shots each week directly into the bald patches. Like a really slow tattoo job, but with squirting and squelching injection sound resonating in your skull. Every time he jabbed me, I felt like my brain was being pushed around. I was denied anaesthetic because it was a 'quick and painless' (it wasn't) surface shot, I was held down because I screamed in the times he didn't pull the needle out and just pivoted the syringe IN MY SCALP, and the injected flesh was never dressed, so I was told on more than one occasion on the bus and trainride home that there was caked blood on my neck -- sometimes by complete strangers. It was humiliating. Eventually, the hair grew back from bald to white to black. It's taken me about six years to actually be happy with my hair overall. I was told there was a chance I'd get it again, but that I knew what to expect, so it wouldn't be so bad next time 'round. This afternoon, I was tying my hair and felt the same patch in the same spot. My heart sank to my feet. I took a couple shots with my phone so I could see whether or not it was what I thought it was. It was. Yesterday on the way to work, I thought I felt a patch on the left hand side, just above the nape. I showed my ex-husband, Jerkface, and he said I was just parting my hair funny. I checked it again this arvo and it's definitely another patch. So the one on the right is about the size of a 20 cent coin, and the one on the left is about the size of a 10 cent coin -- it doesn't sound big, but it feels huge. I remember my mum saying this shit happened every seven years. If that's true, I'm well overdue for asthma. Dammit. I'm sorry this post is so scattered, I am a little stressed out about it. I know Amz has Alopecia, too. I'm not too sure, but I think her Alopecia is a lot more aggressive than mine. Still, it sucks for anybody to have to deal with this. I guess I thought I had this beat for good, and now I can't do anything else but remember how this all panned out the first time, as well as the cost involved in treating it. Oh man, it was so expensive. God, I feel horrible. |