Ten years ago:
I was being told I was like a retarded, 'no-frills' copy of my now best friend, Tina.
I hated Tina with a passion.
Was embarrassed I had to bring smelly fried rice to school for lunch.
Grew boobs.
Rocked at soccer and softball.
Was asthmatic.
Was incredibly unpopular with the kids, a hit with the teachers. Hmm.
Five years ago:
Was fast becoming the biggest fuck-up my highschool and family had ever known.
Was incredibly unpopular with teachers, an oddity to the other kids.
Loved playing the drums.
Wished mum would make me smelly fried rice for lunch.
Wanted to be a lawyer, social worker, or a police officer.
I ran away from home twice. Second attempt worked.
One year ago:
I was married.
I had no piercings or tattoos.
Five Yummy Things:
1.
2. Crunchy veggies.
3. Steak and taters.
4. Plain salted chips. The saltier, the better.
5. Kingstons.
Five songs I know by heart:
1. "Lover, You Should've Come Over" - Jeff Buckley
2. "Total Eclipse Of The Heart" - Bonnie Tyler
3. Just about every song ever recorded by The Stylistics, Dionne Warwick, Lionel Ritchie, The Beach Boys, Air Supply, and The Carpenters. And what?!
4. "Good Old-fashioned Lover Boy" - Queen
5. Every song from Grease and the Doris Day/Howard Keel musical, Calamity Jane.
Five things I would do with a lot of money:
1. Sort out Charli's education, then cover everything she could ever possibly need growing up.
2. Buy myself a house.
3. Fly my favourite, BroGonzo, out here.
4. Buy everyone I know a Sybian. Just because.
5. Spoil myself.
Five things I would never wear:
1. A bumbag.
2. A cock ring. I'm not man enough. *tear*
3. Jodhpurs.
4. A t-shirt with a screenprint of my own face on it.
5. Nipple pasties.
(I just spent about three minutes CACKLING at the mental image of me wearing all five things altogether.)
Five Favourite TV shows:
1. The Sopranos
2. The Shield
3. Nip/Tuck
4. Every Law & Order series.
5. Six Feet Under
Five things I enjoy doing:
1.
2. Laughing
3. My job
4. Being independent
5. Being a mother
Five people I want to inflict this on:
1. Amy, because she's on the ball, I adore her, and she's rockin' Brisbane enough for both of us.
2. Recon, because he's about as bizarre as me.
3. Adrian the Cabbie, because he's a brilliant blogger and I want to know, dammit.
4. One Word Letters, because she's a foetus. Deformed people need love, too.
5. Sheriff of Nothing, because breast is best.